Okay so I lied, but only for now.

I'm sorry. I haven't had the time to do any of my updates in the flurry that is life right now, but rest assured that I'll get there. In the future you can expect stuff such as my prog rock/metal special, reviews of the new Rush album, Dream Theater song recommendations, a few movie reviews, and a write up with pictures of my (forthcoming) trip to New York City.

But right now, I just have to type a little. Not too much I promise, just bear with.

Life if crazy. I feel like I have an anchor to toss in the ocean, but no ship to connect it to. I am striving for solidarity in a world of uncertainty. And it sucks. I have a grad pay job that I cannot stand, but I just don't know what I'm missing enough to want it. I don't know what I want to do, but it sure as hell isn't what I'm doing. My need for security and love for stuff makes this job a necessity, at least for the right now. Fuck it, I wasn't meant to be doing this. I really don't believe in fate, so there is not some predetermined role in life that I have to be doing, but I know that if I have to do this job for another year I'll jump off something high.

I need to move somewhere else. I have nothing in this city, this state, hell this country that could keep me down, that is other than leases and having the money necessary to get the hell out of here. The biggest thing that I am lacking however, is the confidence to do something so mind fuckingly uncertain. The mere planning, or forethought before doing something so radical is keeping me from doing it. Hopefully I can get it done in a year or so, but I'll have to see what can be done.

Women confuse me. I will never profess to have an inkling of an understanding for them. Every one I meet is different, and thinks nothing like the previous. I would like to think that I'm pretty good about picking up on hints, or knowing when to make a move, do something drastic, but I swear this girl I know must assume I'm telepathic if she does like me, because I can not find any hints or, well, anything to indicate otherwise. Which hey, if that's the case, then awesome. I'm 100% cool with that but there is some kind of ambiguous tension between us, but never the hint I'd need, nor an opportunity created to really get the envelope pushed. In a decidedly comical fashion, I anticipate us getting liquored up soon and figuring things out in a certain state of inebriation. For what it's worth, I really don't even have time to be worrying about girls at all, and when it comes down to it, I'm quite alright either way with them, I can do my own thing quite comfortably. Just this ambiguous tension gets me, I'm not sure what to do. Oh well, in the next week things are almost guaranteed to work themselves out.

Oh well, I'll be alright, I always am. I'll figure something out with the job, and the girl, and things will get back to normal. I'll baseline, have a good time, and time will pass. It always does.

But when do I get to do something extraordinary. When will I be extraordinary. I want to do something big, something huge. I want to move mountains, to change the world, but all things have to start with a single step, in a single direction. I just don't know what direction. It feels as if I'm lost in a pool of opportunities, drowning but not knowing what way to swim. This applies to both my professional and personal lives. It kind of sucks.

But New York City, you've charmed me once. Please do it again. I know your lights will be bright, and your flames will burn fast, just give me that sweet, sweet rush I need. I've got to learn to be more irresponsible sometimes. I say my friends never consider the consequences of their actions, I think I do it too much.

It's time to go tripping the lights fantastic.

About The Author

I feel like it doesn’t make sense to ask you all to read something about my life without knowing a little bit about it. To ask me it is rather unspectacular, an ode to mediocrity in the suburbs. In the simplest fashion I grew up in the suburbs. I went to school, I graduated. I went to college, I graduated. I got a job, and I work. While having its fleeting moments of glory, triumph, defeat and depression, life has been very standard. Sure I did things most people have. I’ve had my heart broken in relationships, had hard times with my parents, and was a B or C student in schools due to lack of trying/caring. In hindsight that was not near as cool as it seemed at the time. All in all I have very little to complain about in life, or at least I feel that way. I think it is this reason that complaining feels selfish. I would almost rather not do it. I may complain about relationships with other people openly, but it takes a little more for me to complain merely about my station in life, because I feel as if I have had every opportunity, and where I am is a result of my actions, therefore there is nothing to feel sorry about without realizing that it’s all my own damn fault.

I suppose a little more about my hobbies, tastes and quirks might do more to help you understand this blog and who is writing it more than some diatribe about life in the suburbs lacking exceptionality. As a general rule I am drawn to the different and unusual. My tastes in music are very eclectic, so expect music reviews bridging from classical to classic rock, Mozart to Megadeath. You will not see reviews about hip-hop, country, and typically rap. I play video games, probably more than I should. I play all kinds of games, but shy away from action titles. I was never really any good at shooters, and dying repeatedly tends to hinder your enjoyment of the title. That does not mean I will never talk about them, but as a general rule I will be less excited about the latest Tom Clancy game than the average guy. I do have a tendency to play strange and niche titles, as my taste for the weird still applies. Titles such as Viva Pinata, Katamari Damacy and the latest Pokemon offering are not unknown to me. I have a sweet spot for sci-fi however, and anything I can get my hands on in this genre, expect to hear about(Assuming I have time to play it).

I like sports. It isn’t worth trying to maintain secrecy about living in Dallas, so I love football. I’m dabbling in other sports as well, so assuming this thing sticks expect to hear about baseball or hockey. I do love MMA as well. I am a UFC fan, and I will definitely write up my fight reviews when applicable on here.

I can be rather opinionated so expect to hear a lot of what I have to say. I would like to think that usually they have some basis in reality, but I can not be held accountable completely for that. But who gives a damn, this is my blog. It’s here for me to have some sort of way to document my thoughts and feelings. I’ll try to maintain some offering of interest to the casual browser, but at its core this is me lightening the burden on my mind. In lieu of something of actual content, you may occasionally end up only with my thoughts.

I’ll tack more on to this as it comes to me, but that’s it for now. There’s time to get back to work. There’s more to me than just this I swear, but I’m sure it will pop up when relevant.

Empty Promises, And Stuff About Me Too.

Contrary to what one might expect, I have thought about what I want to do with my blog. I like music, video games, photography, sports and some other crap too. I am of the mindset that if someone takes the time to read what junk I'll put up here, they should at least have something interesting and pertinent to themselves to read, as opposed to somewhere for me to put the droppings of my mind in writing. Problem with that is, I would really like somewhere to put the crap I think of.

My guess is then, that as soon as I can get this running and write a few articles to keep people interested, I would like to have a two part blog. I would like to start off with something informative, be it a review or reflection on music, a review of video games or my thoughts on the industry, or anything about the other topics I mentioned above. Second, I would like to burden the reader with stuff I feel I would like to get off my chest. This may make for an odd read, but then again I'm an odd person. I'll seperate it out so you can skip over parts you don't care for. If you really want though, you can go from my take on the latest UFC fights to how I feel about the women in my life and what I think about relationships.

I need some kind of gimmick too. Some people put random song lyrics at the end of their posts, some people put pictures of near-naked women, or maybe a random youtube video. I haven't gotten this worked out yet, but rest assured I'll come up with something bound to annoy and/or frustrate you, while showing of my ingenuity and genius.

But first, you can expect a short auto-biography. Whether or not it's truthful will be up to interpretation, but it'll be something.